can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
