There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
