If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
