she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
