Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
