well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
