All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
