At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
