So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Couch. On fire.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
