i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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