Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize