i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
