is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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