What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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