Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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