can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
