Tell her she can't have a vagina
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize