office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
