It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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