i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
