question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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