I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
