Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
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