We're facebook friends in real life
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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