she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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