I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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