my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize