im drinking this country out of the recession.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Farmville is her only friend.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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