He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
