you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
