You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
