dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
