I wish I could punch you in the face.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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