hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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