Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
