so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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