Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
