Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
