I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
we should paint friendship bongs
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
