dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
