I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
