am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
