i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Someone signed my nipple.
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