you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
