I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
This baby is an asshole
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
