pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
