I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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