Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is my gift to your gina
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
