she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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