you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
