And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize