We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
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