They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
