I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
