Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
