She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Randomize
