nut hugger
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
