yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
