Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize