the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
