no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
