so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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