Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
