About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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