You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize