I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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