So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize