She's JV to your varsity
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
