So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My bed smells like the plague
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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