I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
