at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize