fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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