This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
