whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
