Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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