that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
